Strategies to handle the narcissist (2)

Strategies to handle the narcissist

3. Be prepared for what thoughts feelings you usually get in these kind of conversations. It can be – he/she might be right in his critisism, I don´t that much about these things, May be he/she is right that I am stupid since I think so myself, may be he/she is right that I never remember what is said to me about others and that it means that I don´t have enough enpathy towards my family, I feel guilt felings that I don´t listen properly, that I don´t take care of my children properly etc.
4. Don´t start defending yourself, instead listen, observe and say something like – I hear what you say and we can discuss how we together can deal with this but the way you talk to me with the demeaning names etc. is not ok and I will not accept it.

I know that this is hard and be sure you have patience with not being able to do it properly and also try to see if there is someone you can talk with when the narcissist punishes you with coldness and silence.

5. My earlier example might apply better to a partner or parent thna to a friend. If you have a friend who only talks about him/her -self, stop asking questions about how he/she feels, since that will trigger a person with these traits, instead talk about yourself. If you get zero response, talk about superficial or practical things and evaluate how much this person means to you and if you get something out of your friendship.

Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell
www.kbtemanell.se

Strategies to handle the narcissist

3. Be prepared for what thoughts feelings you usually get in these kind of conversations. It can be – he/she might be right in his critisism, I don´t that much about these things, May be he/she is right that I am stupid since I think so myself, may be he/she is right that I never remember what is said to me about others and that it means that I don´t have enough enpathy towards my family, I feel guilt felings that I don´t listen properly, that I don´t take care of my children properly etc.
4. Don´t start defending yourself, instead listen, observe and say something like – I hear what you say and we can discuss how we together can deal with this but the way you talk to me with the demeaning names etc. is not ok and I will not accept it.

I know that this is hard and be sure you have patience with not being able to do it properly and also try to see if there is someone you can talk with when the narcissist punishes you with coldness and silence.

5. My earlier example might apply better to a partner or parent thna to a friend. If you have a friend who only talks about him/her -self, stop asking questions about how he/she feels, since that will trigger a person with these traits, instead talk about yourself. If you get zero response, talk about superficial or practical things and evaluate how much this person means to you and if you get something out of your friendship.

Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell
www.kbtemanell.se

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