How can the narcissist be helped?

How can the narcissist get helped?

As I said earlier, it is unusual that the narcissist wants to have therapy, at least when it comes to make some changes. The reson they often go to therapy is because they, for example feel bad after a relationship has come to an end and then they want to talk about the fact that they experience that they have been treated badly.
In some cases though, narcissists agree going to therapy to work with their flaws. I can be because a partner threatens to leave them after a long marriage or after they lose a job because of their behavior.
If narcissists want to work with their difficulties they can try the following (Read more in Reinventing your life by Jeffrey Young).

1. Write a list with advantages and disadvantages about not accepting limits that other people set.
2. Confront your own excuses for not accepting limits that other people set.
3. Register problems in your daily life that arise because of your problems with setting limits.
4. Write flashcards (cards where you write what you find being a problem and the advantages about swallowing your irritation for not getting your way.
5. Ask for feedback.
6. Try to show emapthy.
7. Understand your underlying schemas ( I have written more about this in my earlier articles about narcissism).
8. Write a list about frequent situations that cause you problems.
9. Use the technique time out to handle your anger (you say that you need to go away for a while and then come back).
10.. Learn what thought errors you have (for example “either we do it my way or we drop the whole thing”).

Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell
www.kbtemanell.se

Strategies to handle the narcissist (3)

Strategies to handle the narcissist

6. Try to analyze what your sensitive subjects are and if the narcissist pushes these buttoms. The psyche likes control so if you get conscious of your own sensitive subjects, you will get less upset when they get triggered by the narcsissist.

7. Observe how your the narcissist avoids feeling shame when negative feelings, among others shame is triggered in you.

8. Try to visualize the that the narcissist is 2 years old.
If you think about how 2- year old children sometimes behave you will notice resemblance. (One theory about narcissism suggests that narcissists are stuck emotionally at a 2-year old level).
This will make it easier for you to get distance emotionally. You will easier identify that the problem is not within you but within the narcissist who tries to use you as an emotional garbage can.

To be continued…
Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell
www.kbtemanell.se

Strategies to handle the narcissist

6. Try to analyze what your sensitive subjects are and if the narcissist pushes these buttoms. The psyche likes control so if you get conscious of your own sensitive subjects, you will get less upset when they get triggered by the narcsissist.

7. Observe how your the narcissist avoids feeling shame when negative feelings, among others shame is triggered in you.

8. Try to visualize the that the narcissist is 2 years old.
If you think about how 2- year old children sometimes behave you will notice resemblance. (One theory about narcissism suggests that narcissists are stuck emotionally at a 2-year old level).
This will make it easier for you to get distance emotionally. You will easier identify that the problem is not within you but within the narcissist who tries to use you as an emotional garbage can.

To be continued…
Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell
www.kbtemanell.se