The narcissist ends up lonely emotionally

The narcissist ends up lonely emotionally

I want to say again what I said in my last article and that is that my definite belief after having heard many, many life stories in my work is that narcissists get back for what they have done to others. So, if you have a hard time letting go of the fact that someone has for example reached success by stepping on others, or that a parent still seems to have a good life in spite of having harmed your self-esteem, try to think that there is a huge possibility that when the narcissist grows old and can´t move around as much anymore, he/she will get in touch with the feelings of emptiness and loneliness. Some narcissists include their children in their narcissism, but my experience is that most don´t. Instead they step on their own children in order to feel better about themselves. For example a narcissistic mother who pressures her child to win beauty contests, achieve academic success, excell in some sport in spite of the child´s unwillingness to compete, does it for her own needs. This kind of mother is not interested in her child´s emotions, she is interested in bragging about the child so that she can shine herself. Many times she will say that she pressures the child for his/her own good, so that the child can have a better life as an adult but that statement itself is selfish I think. You can´t decide what´s best for someone by following a book or rules that you have set up yourself. In order to know what is best for your child you have to find out what kind of a personality your child has. I mention children as an example and I will talk more about this,because I have many patients who have problems with a narcissistiv parent. The more children you have, the less probablity that you get a copy of yourself who will like and not like the same things as yourself. So the more you force your child to be the way you want and not the way he/she is, the more problems this child will have as an adult. This can also lead to the fact that the child does not want close contact with the parent as an adult, or no contact at all. This in turn will even more lead the narcissist in the direction of loneliness. In some cases the children continue pleasnig the narcissistic parent, but the parent who is not capable of close a close relationship finds no or superficial interest in their children and grandchildren which again lead them to an emotional loneliness.

Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell

www.kbtemanell.se

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