How can I make my partner understand how bad I feel in this situation?
Hi!
My boyfriend and I have a good relationship and he is generally and empathic person. I am very outgoing and sociable and he prefers to sit at home and watch a movie most evenings of the week. Here comes the problem. I would like us to do more activities and hi answer is that he is tired and that he just doesn´t have the energy. The consequence is that we do it his way most of the time, that is we sit on the sofa and watch tv. I really love my boyfriend but this is more and more frustrating and it has got to a point where I wonder if he is good for me, what should I do?
It sounds that you have a stable relationship and that you love your boyfriend. This is a common problem since we often meet someone that has a different personality thatn we have, which I think can be good since you complement each other that way. A common problem thoguh is that when we feel that it is for example relaxing to sit in the sofa every evening it can be hard to understand that the same behavior can cause someone else boredom, frustration and may be anxiety after a while. I think that you should think about a situation where your boyfriend would feel the same feelings. Ask him how he would feel if you went out almost every evening. Tell him that that would make you feel relaxed. Tell him that you understand that he gets relaxed from the sofa but that you could together at least make an effort to give you that feeling sometimes like a few times a week. If he says that he can´t help getting tired, ask him if you could meet directly after work sometimes and after that go home and sit on the sofa. So in other words try to make him understand from giving him examples when he feels ”your” feeling and then give a few alternatives.
Good Luck!
How can I make my partner understand how bad I feel in this situation?
Hi!
My boyfriend and I have a good relationship and he is generally and empathic person. I am very outgoing and sociable and he prefers to sit at home and watch a movie most evenings of the week. Here comes the problem. I would like us to do more activities and hi answer is that he is tired and that he just doesn´t have the energy. The consequence is that we do it his way most of the time, that is we sit on the sofa and watch tv. I really love my boyfriend but this is more and more frustrating and it has got to a point where I wonder if he is good for me, what should I do?
It sounds that you have a stable relationship and that you love your boyfriend. This is a common problem since we often meet someone that has a different personality thatn we have, which I think can be good since you complement each other that way. A common problem thoguh is that when we feel that it is for example relaxing to sit in the sofa every evening it can be hard to understand that the same behavior can cause someone else boredom, frustration and may be anxiety after a while. I think that you should think about a situation where your boyfriend would feel the same feelings. Ask him how he would feel if you went out almost every evening. Tell him that that would make you feel relaxed. Tell him that you understand that he gets relaxed from the sofa but that you could together at least make an effort to give you that feeling sometimes like a few times a week. If he says that he can´t help getting tired, ask him if you could meet directly after work sometimes and after that go home and sit on the sofa. So in other words try to make him understand from giving him examples when he feels ”your” feeling and then give a few alternatives.
Good Luck!