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The narcissist acts with entitlement to compensate for feelings of worthlessness

 

 The narcissist acts with entitlement to compensate for feelings of worthlessness

The lonely child mode is a result not being validated and not feeling special as a child. The narcissist can flip into this mode when the business collapses, he/she is abandoned, someonehe/she has respect for critisizes him/her, he/she becomes ill and therefore can´t work etc. In the lonely child mode the narcissist feels sad, humiliated and contempt towards himself/herself. The narcissist can get depression or anxiety or psychosomatic problems (for example head ache etc.)In other words it´s not a mode where the narcissist wants to stay for long and he/she fights to quickly switch to the self-aggrandizer mode or the detached self-soother mode.

In order to compensate for the feelings of loneliness and worthlessness, the narcissist feels entitled to critisize and put demands on others. The narcissist feels defective deep inside and therefore he/she is not comfortable letting someone else come to close. He/she would love to have a close relationship but backs when getting too close since it feels uncomfortable.

The Lonely child can also be called the rejected child, the ignored child or the inadequate child. (read more in Reinventing your life by Jeffrey Young).

Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell

www.kbtemanell.se

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