The development of low self-esteem
Now I have desribed that being raised in a environment where you don´t feel loved and accepted the way you are can often affects your self-esteem.
Remember that the rule is five times more good comments to every critisizing comment (this can be hard to transform into practice but it´s good to be aware of it).
The next step in our analysis consists of behaviors or compensatory strategies you do to keep your schema that consists of negative thoughts about yourself alive. An example is that if you have a childhood where you didn´t get your feelings validated in healthy way (most parents mean well by are coloured by their own background which make them not know better) you get compensatory strategie that bring you some sort of relief in the short run but more feelings of helplessness in the long run.
Here are a few examples of compensatory strategies:
– You do more for others than they do for you
– You listen more to others than they listen to you,
– You starve yourself or you eat too much,
– You do too many ”shoulds” in life compared to ”wants”
– You follow impulses to wash yourself too much, check the door lock, if the stove is on etc for more than one hour a day)
When you look for what compensatory strategies you have, try to think about what behaviors you have that bring some kind of relief in the short run but that make you feel more helpless in the long run.
Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell
www.kbtemanell.se
The development of low self-esteem
Now I have desribed that being raised in a environment where you don´t feel loved and accepted the way you are can often affects your self-esteem.
Remember that the rule is five times more good comments to every critisizing comment (this can be hard to transform into practice but it´s good to be aware of it).
The next step in our analysis consists of behaviors or compensatory strategies you do to keep your schema that consists of negative thoughts about yourself alive. An example is that if you have a childhood where you didn´t get your feelings validated in healthy way (most parents mean well by are coloured by their own background which make them not know better) you get compensatory strategie that bring you some sort of relief in the short run but more feelings of helplessness in the long run.
Here are a few examples of compensatory strategies:
– You do more for others than they do for you
– You listen more to others than they listen to you,
– You starve yourself or you eat too much,
– You do too many ”shoulds” in life compared to ”wants”
– You follow impulses to wash yourself too much, check the door lock, if the stove is on etc for more than one hour a day)
When you look for what compensatory strategies you have, try to think about what behaviors you have that bring some kind of relief in the short run but that make you feel more helpless in the long run.
Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell
www.kbtemanell.se