How can I handle being in a relationship with a narcissist who only sees to his/her own needs?
If you choose to keep your narcissistic partner or friend because you come to the conclusion that you either get something out of the relationship or may be you can´t find the strength to end the relationship, here is what you can think about:
1. Try to set limits. I know that this is easy to say and hard to do but at least have it in your mind all the time. Giving in to feelings of guilt or because you feel sorry for the narcissist will make him/her get less respect for you and therefore treat you worse. The more you get aware of this, the easier it will be to sometimes stick to what you want and not to what the narcissist wants. Try to endure your feelings of guilt and set limits.
2. Try to accept the traits you see in the narcissist. May be you have seen that the narcissist is not really interested in your needs and feelings but you don´t want to see it. May be you try to persuade yourself that you have exagerated or that you have seen nice traits too and that you want to be an accepting and nice person and not a complainer which is what you feel you are after you have met the neracissist.
I know that it is hard, but try to see your partner or friend the way he/she is and not the way you would like hmi/her to be.
3. Observe how the narcissist behaves towards other people, he/she will probably behave in a similar way towards you.
4. Try to block your hopes that you will change the narcissist. It is common that the feelings of hope in cases like this cause a lot of problems. May be you have been feeling disapointed and hopeless for a long time but you hope that your friend/partner will change because sometimes you see glimpses of fantastic behavior and each time you hope that this behavior will expand and make you happy.
Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell
www.kbtemanell.se
How can I handle being in a relationship with a narcissist who only sees to his/her own needs?
If you choose to keep your narcissistic partner or friend because you come to the conclusion that you either get something out of the relationship or may be you can´t find the strength to end the relationship, here is what you can think about:
1. Try to set limits. I know that this is easy to say and hard to do but at least have it in your mind all the time. Giving in to feelings of guilt or because you feel sorry for the narcissist will make him/her get less respect for you and therefore treat you worse. The more you get aware of this, the easier it will be to sometimes stick to what you want and not to what the narcissist wants. Try to endure your feelings of guilt and set limits.
2. Try to accept the traits you see in the narcissist. May be you have seen that the narcissist is not really interested in your needs and feelings but you don´t want to see it. May be you try to persuade yourself that you have exagerated or that you have seen nice traits too and that you want to be an accepting and nice person and not a complainer which is what you feel you are after you have met the neracissist.
I know that it is hard, but try to see your partner or friend the way he/she is and not the way you would like hmi/her to be.
3. Observe how the narcissist behaves towards other people, he/she will probably behave in a similar way towards you.
4. Try to block your hopes that you will change the narcissist. It is common that the feelings of hope in cases like this cause a lot of problems. May be you have been feeling disapointed and hopeless for a long time but you hope that your friend/partner will change because sometimes you see glimpses of fantastic behavior and each time you hope that this behavior will expand and make you happy.
Cognitive Behavior Psychologist Monica Emanell
www.kbtemanell.se